The Place Between Our Pains
- Judith D Collins
- May 18
- 8 min read
A Memoir of What Joy Can Survive
Narrator: K.J. Ramsey
ISBN: 9780593727393
Publisher: Convergent | Convergent Books
Publication Date: 05/19/2026
Format: Other
My Rating: 5 Stars (ARC)
Memoir
TOP BOOKS OF 2026 LIST!
A poetic, darkly funny memoir of one woman’s trip across the national parks straight into life-threatening illness and the joy that still holds us, no matter how much life hurts.
After over a decade of fighting chronic illness, trauma therapist and beloved author K.J. Ramsey was the healthiest she’d been in her life. She packed up her Jeep and set out on a summer of road trips, returning to the places where she first glimpsed joy as a kid. More than adventure, her aim was a personal dare to discover that joy is more trustworthy than trauma.
The plan was simple but bold:
Drive. Write. Heal. What could go wrong?
It turns out, everything.
The woman who just wandered through Redwood forests and ran naked into the Pacific suddenly found herself in the hospital fighting to stay alive. A mysterious illness struck like lightning, splintering the best days of her life into the absolute scariest. Ramsey went from being afraid of dying to afraid of living the life she was left with—losing both her mobility and the language of her faith, medically gaslit, with no map out of her misery. Was joy actually a trick? Or was joy still possible—even in inescapable pain?
Told with unhinged humor, lyrical honesty, and zero patience for toxic positivity, The Place Between Our Pains is a true story that reaches past our expectations of what joy can survive. From banana slugs to bedpans, mushrooms to the Mayo Clinic, hospitals to holy rage, Ramsey invites us into the unlikely places where joy lives. Through a full year of recovery, she encounters love that doesn’t leave—even when life doesn’t get easier. This is a love letter to every life seared by pain or autoimmune disease and a fierce permission slip to show up in the stories we never would have written for ourselves.
My Review
What happens when the summer of your dreams —a healing Jeep road trip across the country’s stunning National Parks—instantly collides with a terrifying, life-threatening medical emergency?
Intro
In The Place Between Our Pains A Memoir of What Joy Can Survive, celebrated trauma therapist and counselor K.J. Ramsey returns with a breathtakingly vulnerable, fiercely protective personal memoir. After a long decade navigating chronic illness, Ramsey felt she was finally in the healthiest season of her life. She packed up her Jeep to rediscover her inner child across America's wilderness. Instead, lightning-fast medical devastation struck, landing her in a hospital bed, fighting to live.
This is an unapologetically raw, defiantly humorous look at finding genuine connection when the life you expected turns into a nightmare.
DRIVE. WRITE. HEAL. WHAT COULD GO WRONG?
Setting
The memoir beautifully shifts between the expansive, awe-inspiring tranquility of the Redwood forests and the Pacific coast, and the sterile, exhausting realities of hospital rooms and the Mayo Clinic.
Vibe
Lyrical, brutally honest, fiercely emotional, and deeply resilient. It strips away hollow platitudes and toxic positivity, replacing them with a dark, sharp wit and a beautiful, grounded wisdom.
Genre
Memoir / Medical Narrative / Spiritual & Psychological Non-Fiction
"Joy is not the absence of suffering; it is the presence of love.
Themes
~The Reality of Medical Gaslighting: Fighting for validation inside a complex healthcare system.
~Trauma vs. Trust: Unlearning the instinct of constantly fearing the worst.
~Holy Rage: Allowing room for anger, grief, and raw emotion in a healing journey.
~Unyielding Love: The power of community and partnerships that refuse to walk away.
Metaphor
The Metaphor of the National Parks: Ramsey brilliantly utilizes the enduring, scarred landscape of the American wilderness to mirror human suffering. Just like forests that require fire to regenerate, our bodies and souls possess an innate, quiet architecture designed to withstand immense structural trauma and still cultivate life.
👤 Standout Characters
~K.J. Ramsey: An increasingly feral, deeply thoughtful narrator who refuses to wrap her suffering in a neat bow.
~Ryan: Her steadfast husband—a hospice chaplain who models what it means to anchor someone through the dark.
~The "Spoonie" Community: The invisible network of chronic illness patients who understand the language of shared pain.
Author Writing Standout
Because Ramsey is a licensed professional counselor, her clinical understanding of trauma gives her prose a sharp, unique intellectual edge. Yet, her poetic voice and refusal to hide behind academic language make her feel like a close friend talking to you from a bedside chair.
"My body was not failing me; it was fighting for me."
Takeaway
Joy is not the absence of pain; it is the stubborn, untamed presence of life persisting right in the middle of it.
Title Significance
"The Place Between Our Pains" captures the narrow, sacred threshold where we live when a medical crisis permanently alters our mobility and reality—the literal gap where human suffering meets unexpected, beautiful survival.
Why You Should Read
If you were deeply moved by When Breath Becomes Air or The Choice: Embrace the Possible, this memoir belongs on your immediate TBR! It provides fierce permission to show up authentically in a story you never would have willingly written for yourself. I loved it!
Tone
You will enjoy her "unhinged humor" and poetic prose. She beautifully balances the clinical grimness of hospital stays with the wild, mystical beauty of the Pacific coast and the Redwoods.
POETIC. DEFIANT. LUMINOUS. POWERFUL. "An exquisitely raw, vulnerable masterpiece that completely redefines how we find joy in the dark."
My Thoughts
This book will break your heart open, but it will also give you the tools to put it back together with a deeper, more resilient kind of joy. Ramsey has written a survival guide for the weary, proving that even when our bodies or our beliefs break down, we are never fully broken.
This stunning memoir memoir left me utterly transformed. Having previously delved into Ramsey's exquisite spiritual poetry, I was already aware of her remarkable talent for language, but the depth of vulnerability articulated in this work is nothing short of breathtaking. The pacing is masterfully crafted, evoking the jarring and disorienting experience of joyfully enjoying nature fully, only to find oneself abruptly waking up confined within an unyielding body.
It’s a rare treasure to encounter an author capable of eliciting tears of sorrow on one page and spontaneous laughter from a cleverly placed bedpan joke on the next. This is not just a memoir; it is an absolute masterpiece within its genre.
"Hope is a team sport."
I particularly enjoyed Ramsey's quotes and mantras. "Hope is a team sport." The book challenges the reader (and patient) to stop trying to be hyper-independent and instead allow themselves to be loved and held by the community. Aren't we all guilty of this?
The Medical Gaslighting: If you have a chronic illness, as I do with multiple autoimmune diseases, you will relate to and appreciate her brutal honesty about the healthcare system. It validates anyone who has ever had their physical symptoms dismissed by professionals.
🏆 Verdict 5 / 5 Stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐The Bottom Line: "Unapologetically raw, defiantly humorous, insightful, and deeply lyrical. A must-read for 2026! My favorite memoir of the year.
~Faith/Spiritual
Final Verdict: 5/5 stars.A breathtakingly honest, mystical, and deeply comforting read for anyone who has been medically gaslit, spiritually wounded, or left wondering if God is still good in the dark. Ramsey is the companion we all need in the wilderness.
~Chronic Illness/Grief
Final Verdict: 5/5 stars. This book is a lifeline. Ramsey fiercely protects the reality of ongoing pain while aggressively defending our right to experience joy alongside it. A definitive must-read for anyone living with chronic illness or grief.
~Memoir/Prose/Lyrical/Literary
Final Verdict: 5/5 stars. Visceral, poetic, and fiercely funny. Ramsey writes with the precision of a therapist and the soul of a poet. It’s a stunning debut memoir that will stay with you long after the final page.
Recs
~Perfect Pairing: Regular readers know how deeply I was undone by the monumental bestseller When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi. This memoir belongs on your immediate shelf. It shares that same stunning, medical-insider perspective mixed with a deeply profound, life-affirming look at human mortality.
~Read-Alikes: Also highly recommended for readers who treasure the deep, unflinching human exploration of authors like Cole Arthur Riley and Kate Bowler.
~The Author: Check out the books by the author in particular. This Too Shall Last: Finding Grace When Suffering Lingers.
🎧 Audio Standout
Narrated by K.J. Ramsey herself, I am looking forward to listening. I am sure it will be remarkably intimate, like hearing the actual catch in her voice during moments of medical frustration, and the defiant humor in her delivery will make the production an unforgettable audio experience.
Special thanks to Convergent Books and NetGalley for providing an advanced reading copy in exchange for my honest thoughts.
@JudithDCollins | #JDCMustReadBooks
Host/Creator of #LitLiftMiniAuthorChats
My Rating: 5 Stars +
Pub Date: May 19, 2026
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Praise
“Her prose oscillates between transcendent nature writing and raw, darkly comic medical diary entries—especially well done is a passage in which she describes the effects on her mood of high-dose steroids (‘Satan’s Little Tic Tacs’). It can be difficult to convey medical trauma on the page, but Ramsey succeeds in part because her determination to derive meaning from suffering is profound. . . . A memoir that’s simultaneously devastating and life-affirming.”
—Kirkus Reviews
“Ramsey . . . offers an evolved framework for reconciling a spiritual life with chronic health problems. . . . [The author] asks readers to join her in acknowledging truly unpleasant situations while looking to the natural and supernatural worlds for perspective and peace.”
—Library Journal
“[A] raw, evocative account [of] the challenges of grappling with chronic illness”
—Publishers Weekly
“Unapologetically raw, defiantly humorous, this book is the bravest of journeys. From the beauty of the mountain-hemmed Utah salt flats to the terrors of a hospital bed, K.J. Ramsey invites us into her journal pages, her fears, her doubts, and her very body with a memoir that makes no promises except to tell the truth about joy in the dark. We’ve needed this.”
—Cole Arthur Riley, New York Times bestselling author of This Here Flesh
“This book is a beacon, guiding us into the wild and natural worlds we exist within: the ones outside all around and the ones inside that we embody. Ramsey reminds us that no matter how rugged, surprising, and full of mystery—it is our connection with them that invites us into a life full of beauty.”
—Hillary McBride, PhD, psychologist, author, podcast host
“This is a harrowing account of a woman who has contended with serious illness for most of her adult life. It is also a witness to the hope that arises even in misery. ‘We cannot heal our way out of being human,’ Ramsey writes, but she insists that love and joy can uplift us in the spaces between our pains.”
—Kathleen Norris, New York Times bestselling author of The Cloister Walk
“The best writing is the most honest, and K.J. Ramsey has written a memoir that tells the whole truth with all its teeth and tenderness. This is a searing and generous companion for anyone who’s carried trauma, chronic illness, or the wreckage of bad religion in their body.”
—David Gate, author of A Rebellion of Care
“An antidote to cynicism and despair in the midst of suffering, Ramsey generously offers all of us a hard-won story of how to deepen our capacity for joy, even when nothing has turned out as advertised.”
—Sarah Bessey, bestselling author of Field Notes for the Wilderness and editor of A Rhythm of Prayer
About the Author
K.J. Ramsey is an increasingly feral mystic who is utterly devoted to the joy of being alive. She is a body-centered licensed professional counselor specialized in trauma recovery and an acclaimed author of prose and poetry, including The Book of Common Courage, The Lord Is My Courage, and This Too Shall Last, as well as the bestselling essay Substack Embodied. KJ advocates for fellow autoimmune patients and lives in Colorado with her husband Ryan, a hospice chaplain, and their two velcro dogs. WEBSITE
